Everything is on fire: Charming App Mindfulness besieged by Forces of Darkness
December 24, 2020 at 12:01 PM EST
After a promising mobile launch, Charming App Mindfulness now faces serious headwinds and supernatural hurdles in ending 2020. Internal sources at Charming Ape explain.
(PRUnderground) December 24th, 2020
According to Kevin Afanasiff, lead developer at Charming Ape, creator of Charming App Mindfulness. But is it really? Internal sources suggest otherwise…
After what seemed like a promising launch, things have taken a dramatic turn for the worse for the new mindfulness app:
“Everything broke last week,” according to an internal source. “Our Android build pipeline suddenly failed, we found a data bug that wipes users’ high scores when they update to the latest version, and we’re having a devil of a time getting a new release approved on iOS.”
It’s not just on the engineering side that things are faltering. The company is having trouble with it’s marketing and advertising too.
The company owner, Charming Ape himself, explains –
“We were so excited about the new icon, and the storefront A/B test that showed a huge boost in downloads resulting from it. But after putting it into production, there has been a negligible impact on installs… it’s inexplicable.”
The company is also running into trouble with its advertising campaigns.
“We were hitting our daily budget, so we lowered our target CPI thinking we’d get more bang for our buck. What happened though, is after acquiring a few cheap installs, cost per click crept back up to near its previous value but total daily install volume has yet to recover.”
Opinions are mixed about what is causing the headwinds. Some sides blame mismanagement and a lack of internal expertise. Other sides are quick to come to Charming Ape’s defense, arguing that everyone is doing their best and that it is forces outside of their control that are hindering the app’s progress.
One source, who asked to remain anonymous, provides a controversial but increasingly popular explanation for the mindfulness app’s growing difficulties:
“It’s a well known fact that the Forces of Darkness grow exponentially in power in the days leading up to the winter solstice. Given this supernatural opposition, it’s no surprise that Charming App, a product of the Light, would face extreme difficulties in these Dark Days.”
If this explanation is correct, however far-fetched it may seem, then there is light at the end of the tunnel. As the days start getting longer again in the New Year, it should be expected that Charming App Mindfulness will regain much of its lost momentum.
Charming Ape has some final remarks for those interested in the app and it’s progress –
“One thing we all agree on is that we want everyone to have a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. So we’re going to take the next week off, and come back to the office in 2021 well-rested and ready to tackle these challenges with a fresh perspective.”
Will a holiday staycation help put Charming App Mindfulness back on track? Time will tell.
About Charming Ape
British Columbia, Canada based software development company of Kevin Afanasiff, creator of Charming App Mindfulness for iOS and Android and other mobile apps
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Original Press Release.